We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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