barbara walters just said penis...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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