I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
