I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
