We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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