5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
