awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
