hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
did i just pee glitter
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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