Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
