I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
