Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
