Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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