Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize