just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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