He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
