SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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