He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
