Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
