I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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