Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
