Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
