Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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