How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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