Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
