Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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