she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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