I want to make a zoo with you.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
