if you like me you must not know who I am
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
