went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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