dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
