no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
