My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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