Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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