I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
