Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
