apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
