Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
wat bout pragnant strippers??
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Randomize
