im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
