East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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