Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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