I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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