It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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