I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
