1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
