Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
