Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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