Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
