Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
