We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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