he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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