We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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