No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
