i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
