Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
