when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
