you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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