so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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