Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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