I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize