did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
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