I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize