giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
